So that's it! I'm doing it, finally. I'm taking a hiatus from stress, from the routine that has been slowly but surely sucking the me out of me. I'm going back to Colorado for a month. I am not dropping out, my professors are kind enough to let me continue reading and doing assignments without going to class (three semesters of not flaking are paying off). I decided this on Saturday, thought about it Sunday, talked with a couple people Monday, and booked the ticket today.
I was running this morning, and contemplating if I'm crazy at all for leaving (and barely telling anyone...it's a weird subject to bring up and doesn't seem permanent enough to call people for) for a month...and something about the fresh air and the sunrise waking up the world along with the sound of my thudding feet just...reminded me. Of how freedom feels and why it's important to feel it in a real, significant way. And I'm going to. I can't really explain why, except for that after feeling so horrible for so long, I'm ready to pick myself back up. I guess... I can explain it through a couple songs, as usual. One being the title of this blog, and a couple others that helped me make this really difficult decision to put my plan (which I've had for a long time) on hold and retreat for a while.
Fresh Feeling- Eels
Orchestral tunage and the buttery cello loop...delicious.
Jane- Aaron Roche
make friends with should have beens/ who love the sound of your voice
Kathleen- Josh Ritter
I don't think it's narcissism. At least, I hope not.
New Soul- Yael Naim
So there it is. I'll be traveling back on Thursday, and starting my month of using my membership at the Denver Art Museum, going up the mountains, writing letters, cooking, walking...you know, stuff that I forget that I like to do when I forget that I like life. And I'm definitely not ashamed to say that I really need to remind myself of that.
There are so few times in life that we're able to drop everything and gain something. Somehow the circumstances are all working out perfectly, and that is so encouraging. My flight is scheduled for Thursday afternoon, and I'm scheduled to return the day after Easter.
I think life might be quiet enough to listen to God in the stillness. I'm ready for that voice, and I know He's ready for me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hey - just tripped onto your blog through "our" blog.
Congrats on having faculty cool enough to let you take what sounds like a very well-deserved break from the dehumanizing social structure that is "edjumucashun". Lord knows I could have used a reprieve in the midst of my studies, not counting the 4 years I temporarily dropped out of course...
And like, OMG major props on becoming a heaphones fan. I just like totally got it on vinyl, uh shea jealous much?
i admire that you are able to do something for yourself. hope all goes well. say hello to the mountains for me. Also, I think you should listen to the artist Colleen, because I think it might help you feel better about life. It sure as hell makes me feel better. Good luck.
Chris
Post a Comment