At the end of my summer vacation this year, I packed up my things and moved back to school. While I was unpacking my storage unit full of things I had left behind, I realized how much crap I have. My parents were barely able to fit all of it into my dad's Tahoe (which, for reference, is roughly the size of the nation of Chad), and when we got to the small room allotted to me in the apartment, it was ridiculous to imagine how I would ever find creative and geometric ways to fit all of it. So I had to get rid of about ninety percent of it. In past years, this would have been so difficult. I would have found excuses for each piece of rubbish I owned ("Oh, but THIS bottle of multi-vitamins has gel caps, and who knows when I'll be in need of ingesting plastic?").
Surprisingly, when I opened all of the boxes with my wayward possessions this time, I felt no attachment. I sifted through the old video games, the back issues of Glamour, the eighty thousand candles in assorted scents, and old Snoopy adorned purses...and I simply closed the boxes again. The only thing bothering me about the whole ordeal was the fact that I held on to all the meaningless pieces of junk for so long. That I had complicated my life with things.
Why did I hide behind things? I went shopping for clothes when I had no money. I bought movies even though friends owned them. I was afraid to see who I would be without a barricade of consumerism to protect me. If people couldn't tell who I was from the movies and music I liked, and from how I dressed, I didn't want to take the time to let them in.
Well, my room is much much emptier currently. My checking account is perilously low, but I'm able to admit that to my friends now. (Really, guys, it's just pathetic). I didn't do any before-school shopping trips, and I wear the same jeans for a whole week. I also forget to wear make up a lot now. I still spend a bit too much on coffee, but I compensate by stealing my produce from the school cafeteria.
Life's pretty awesome.
Also, you have permission to call me a disgusting hypocrite, because I found a John Mayer song I can't get out of my head.
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3 comments:
I don't judge you, because that's easily my favorite John Mayer song ever.
I wasn't aware that you had ever been hiding how broke you are.... I thought that was common knowledge.
But take solace in the fact that I've been spending money like it's going out of style, and by the time I get home I won't be able to pay my utilities anymore.
Have to say many, if most, of the enjoyable moments of my life have been when I was flat broke.
Does that mean I was happier when I had less money? I think it just means I've spent most of my life broke actually.
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